Stress: Good v. bad and how to manage them both
By: Cindy Ricardo, L.M.H.C., I.R.T.
Stressed out? Join the club. According to an American Psychological Association (APA)
survey taken in 2004, fifty-four percent of Americans are concerned about the level of
stress in their everyday lives. In our ever-changing world, it's no wonder stress is on the
upswing. But what really causes stress and is it necessarily a bad thing? Stress can
actually be helpful or it can be hazardous. How stress affects your body depends on how
you choose to deal with it and manage it in your everyday life.
What causes stress?
Think about a situation you considered to be stressful. Did you feel overwhelmed,
helpless and frustrated or were you energized, challenged and hopeful? What was your
body's reaction to the situation? Did your muscles tense up or was your heart racing?
Was your first reaction to ignore the situation by avoiding it/running away or did you stay
and confront the issue? Your response to these questions is as important as the way you
view situations and will determine how you deal with it. In fact, how you perceive both
the situation and your ability to handle situations is what causes stress.
Different approaches to stress
Not everyone reacts to stressful situations in the same manner. Take getting stuck in a
traffic jam. One person may get angry and engage in behaviors that increase feelings of
stress and anxiety--honking the horn or raging at other drivers. Another person may see
the same situation as an opportunity to engage in relaxing or calming activities. Even
catastrophic events, such as natural disasters, will bring out different reactions in different
people.
How stress can help you grow
Some stress can is helpful by enriching our lives or challenging us to reach our potential.
Think about promotions, weddings, starting a new business venture, moving into your
dream house or having a baby--all life changing situations that can be exhilarating,
uplifting and exciting. They can help you to feel successful, reach your potential and
enrich your life. In this way, stress can be good. In fact, living a stress-free life is
impossible and would be boring and dull.
Stress can be hazardous to your health
Negative stress and an inability to recognize the impact on your physical and emotional
health can be dangerous. Long-term or chronic stress can cause serious physical and
psychological illnesses and in some cases it can lead to death. Some stress related
illnesses are: heart disease, high blood pressure, weight gain/loss, migraines, depression,
alcoholism, anxiety, insomnia and eating disorders.
people.
Managing Stress
Building awareness of the impact stress has on your mind and body, and changing the
way you deal with stress leads to a healthier and balanced life. Here are a few ways to
start managing stress in your life:
- Recognize and identify how you can andle situations that cause stress in a
healthier manner. (For example, some people have difficulty expressing their
feelings. If they learn how to be assertive then their perception of the situation and
their ability to handle it will be completely different.)
- Eliminate unhealthy ways of coping such as alcohol, drugs and food and replace
them with healthier methods such as exercise, yoga, spiritual practice or outdoor
activities.
- Become aware of negative self talk. Find ways of building yourself up instead of
tearing yourself down.
- Be aware of ways in which you are contributing to the stressfulness of the
situation. Would planning ahead or being better organized help you feel more in
control? Are you avoiding things? Making small changes can make a stressful
situation more manageable.
- Take care of your physical, emotional and spiritual needs. Listen to your body
signals. Are you getting enough sleep, eating balanced meals, exercising?
- When you are feeling tense, stop and do some deep breathing exercises
visualizing yourself in a serene, tranquil setting.
- Learn the difference between what you can and cannot control. Thinking you are
responsible for everything or for another person's life can lead to feelings of
failure and depression.
- Set healthy boundaries. Overextending yourself or saying yes when you really
want or need to say no, leads to exhaustion, resentment and stressful relationships.
- If stress has become overwhelming to the point where it is affecting your physical
and emotional health, seek the assistance of a therapist or join a support group.
Cindy Ricardo is a Licensed Mental Heath Counselor and an Imago Relationship
Therapist. She has a private practice in Coral Springs, Florida where she assists
individuals and couples to develop loving and compassionate relationships. Contact her at
954.793.6442 or visit www.acaringcounselor.net
